Grammar people- I did not edit this or worry about grammar in this blog post as I felt it would take away from some of the authenticity of my thoughts.
I have been struggling for a while to find what I truly believe. I finally realized a few years ago that part of my problem with religion and spirituality was because I didn’t truly believe it. Part of the struggle has been letting go of what I was taught and part of it has been finding what I do believe in. I feel I am starting to get somewhere. When my walking partner told me her kids were still sick and thus unable to go for our walk. I was tempted to just not go. Then I realized it fell on the autumn equinox and I felt led to find a walking meditation to listen to. I tried several choices off youtube. They were not what I was looking for. Then I found one. Sage Goddess had an hour long ritual and it was simply titled Fall Equinox Ritual. This was it. This resonated with me right from the start.
Now a bit of backstory is that I have been walking this trail for four weeks consistently. I did however walk it a lot last fall and winter. The first thing I noticed when we started back up on this trail was how dry everything was. The first two weeks of walking this trail I was just continually amazed at how little life there was along the sides of the trail. This was a trail we had seen alligators and turtles, gopher tortoises and even otters. It saddened me a little truth to tell. I understand it was the circle of life but still. Even last week on Thursday when we walked it was still dry. There was no water visible. There however had to be water somewhere as the frogs were back. They were singing their songs again.
Today the trail found me in amazement again. It was now Tuesday. Five days had passed. There was water. There was so much water. There was at least a foot deep of water if not more in some parts. Some areas it stretched back as far as ten to fifteen feet. This was the trail I had fallen in love with last year.
As Sage Goddess talked about the story behind the equinox. There are many but this one was dealing with Demeter and Persephone and Hades. I had heard it before. However I had never felt the depth of emotion I felt when she told the story. I understood Demeter’s anguish and it suddenly made more sense why the light was softer in the fall. There was just so much emotion I felt and could relate to in this story. It was like. Oh this is why I embrace fall so much.
Now many people who live in Florida say there are no seasons. I beg to differ. There is. They are just very subtle changes and you really do have to be paying attention. The change in the sunlight is always what I notice first. Soon after the air feels different. Less oppressive somehow. There is a slight change in the plants, the rain makes them fuller more alive, more colorful. We do have leaves that change colors. They just are not as many so you have to look carefully for them. Maybe it is because I take my walks outside twice a week minimum. I just have always felt fall the strongest though.
As I walked I found myself drawn more and more inwards and even despite walking felt grounded after Sage Goddess led us through a grounding practice. Really it was a good thing that my pedometer kept interrupting every ten minutes as it forced me to look up and take in my surroundings. My cats had knocked my cord out of the wall sometime in the night. So where I thought I had a fully charged phone. I was shocked to discover a mile and half into my walk that my phone battery was dying.
Sage Goddess had set the circle and was calling the four corners. I have always known I am considered an air element/East. However I have never fully related to any of the descriptions until now. I tend to relate the descriptions to personality and I really felt she had found me. Then she called Fire/south which is my daughters sign. Again everything she described I could relate into my daughters personality. She described us so beautifully and perfectly.
Sadly my phone died right after calling the four corners. However, my senses were so awakened. I tried to gather my thoughts for a letter to tell Sage Goddess how much just even that thirty minutes meant to me. I found it was much better suited to a blog post.
I spent most of the walk back looking off to the side. Noticing the little things. The song of the frogs was much louder and stronger. Their songs even seemed happier. We are wet, we are alive, we are happy. There were so many little chickadee type birds flirting from branch to branch to water to branch. It may seem odd to see flowers blooming in Fall but that was what was happening. These were wetland flowers and they were showing how happy they were with the recent rain. They were bright and vibrant and almost seemed boastful and proud. Pinks and purples, yellows, whites and even a few red in color. I saw a gopher tortoise hole and I wondered if anyone was way down deep in there. Enjoying the humid wetness of the soil. A little further on I saw the gopher tortoise. He too seemed to be saying,” yes , this makes me happy.” The far off distant rumble of thunder had me thinking please clouds just hold off until I get to my car. Then I thought. well if it does, it might be just as cleansing as this walk has been. Before I knew it I was almost done with the second half of my walk. Here it was more obvious the plants had loved the rain. They seemed to have doubled and the sunlight that hit the new green of freshly grown leaves was just stunning. There was Lantana blooming. They are my favorite and bring back so many childhood memories of picking them.
Fall is here. The trail is alive once more. I no longer worry that I will get bored walking the same trail twice a week. I now look forward to noticing all the subtle changes and hope again to glimpse some otters. The walk that normally takes an hour and twenty minutes took a few minutes less. I had a better more consistent pace. This walk was just the thing I needed. I felt grounded and restored like I haven’t felt in quite a while.
I will finish the Fall Equinox Ritual later today. I am linking it here for anyone else who wishes to listen or practice.