Even when the depression is at its least intrusive it is there.
It is always there.
When I am smiling.
When I am doubled over in laughter.
It is there.
No matter what I am doing, anyone with depression is doing, it is the dark cloud that is always there.
Depression is very tricky. It lets you think that you are not depressed. It reels you into feeling safe.
I am not depressed anymore so I don’t need my medications.
I am not depressed anymore so I can lower my medications.
Sometimes it even lets you stop your medication.
That was when it was the easiest for it to strike again for me.
I don’t even second guess anymore that I need an anti-depressant.
It is just a fact that I do.
I also need an anti-anxiety medication.
Not everyone with depression is the same.
Depression is rarely exactly alike in two people.
I have a friend who when hers flares she sleeps and sleeps and sleeps.
When mine is bad, I can’t sleep.
There are areas that people who have depression can relate to.
It makes you feel helpless.
It makes you feel alone.
It makes you feel broken.
Depression is not just sadness. It is so much more than that.
Just like there are different types of people, there are different types of depression.
I was so easily deceived by depression. I was diagnosed with clinical depression. It was not explained properly to me so it got a good hold on me before I realized it. Clinical depression does not just mean a chemical imbalance. So much of what I was feeling is also common in OCD, which is my primary diagnosis. That constant feeling of impending doom, you don’t know why its there but it is. There is no reason for it to be there. Some people get a feeling of despair. For me it has always been that waiting for the other shoe to drop feeling.
This is why I absolutely loved the hashtag depressedbutdressed. It’s creation was my friend Jen’s brain child. Go check her out (http://www.itsnotmyworkout.com/) Depression has many faces and this hashtag is a way of making people realize that.
I don’t remember to use it everyday. It does not have to be something you hashtag you use everyday. Actually I think if you do it looses its effect.
We need more people showing they did the hardest thing that day. They got up , they got dressed even with depression. They may be depressed but they are dressed and that is the hardest thing for someone with depression.
********** feelings of suicide or suicidal thoughts are a very real aspect of depression. If you are having such thoughts there is hope, There is help. There is a national number that can help you get the help you need. YOU DESERVE THE HELP. Don’t think these thoughts will go away and you will be okay. Pick up the phone and call. CALL NOW! 1-800-273-8255 ************************************