Tag Archives: hiking

The week without Starbucks TTOT #75

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Do not let the title fool you. I had coffee.  I even had Starbucks coffee. I just didn’t get to sit in Starbucks and write, so it’s a good thing I am scheduled ahead.  I also forgot to start and write daily for this Ten Things of Thankful. Ooops.

So lets do something slightly different from my normal set-up for Ten Things Of Thankful. This week we will go BACKWARDS! I am also not going to count. I am sure that breaks some rule somewhere. Rules were meant to be broken, sometimes.

Starting with Today: FRIDAY

I made it to the store with my list. I got everything on my list. I am making a German dish for the Thanksgiving/heritage potluck. I am sure I will enjoy that as well.

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Thursday

I got to play with Snickerdoodle.  I got to play with Squish. I walked my four miles. I completely enjoyed the weather. It was 46 when we started our walk, 53 when we ended. Don’t worry though I still sweated like crazy.  I did however crash completely around four pm. Luckily my husband was home and could take over and DID.

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Wednesday

Well Wednesday was pretty much a waste. I flared pretty badly. However, I am reviewing a product from Ultracur. It is pretty amazing. I use Turmeric regularly. This is clinical levels of Cucurmin. Stay tuned for a full review of this product!

Tuesday

We had AC people coming Wednesday and They were going to need inside the house. This meant I had to clean the house. I don’t normally do the whole house on one day. I did go for a walk. We got our four miles in. I was pretty impressed with how much cleaning I did get done. I also cleaned the kid’s room and lived to tell about it. It was a glimpse into what her college dorm room will look like.  I didn’t ask why things were sticky or what the heck it was.

Monday

My cleaning job got done. I am still very thankful for that income. Farmers market was fun this week. I am loving all the in-season stuff.  It makes it much more budget friendly and we can get so much! Lunch with my friend was interesting. I have come very far in controlling my anxiety and panic attacks. One thing that will always trigger a panic attack. Tornado. We were sitting outside. My phone alerted there was a Tornado Watch. Thankful for Ativan and it working! I have less issues with it when it’s not an immediate threat. I can write some of the details. I can say it. I still get that anxious feeling but not panicky. It stems from a real event when I was young.

Sunday

I don’t always include the weekends but, we had a busy one. One I am especially thankful for. Our church took the kids on a hike . This is an annual field trip they take. The kids really enjoy it and look forward to it.  They then got to have lunch all together. They were then off to see the Youth Opera perform The Hobbit.  I am so thankful for our church and the members there who make sure my child is so well rounded.  She is exposed to things that we would not have the money to expose her to, like the arts. It was also very nice to have a mostly kid free day that I didn’t have to run around doing errands or cleaning.

NOW I want to know what you are thankful for? Can you list ten things?

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The week it all seemed to come together. TTOT 74

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Saturday

1. A nice exploring hike with the kid. Just the two of us. We had a lot of fun. She took some videos. It is not recommended you watch them if you easily get motion sick! But she did crack me up.

Sunday

2.. Despite a constant rain drizzle that stiffened my joints and pain invading what little sleep I did get…. I got up and made an excellent breakfast and fresh coffee. We made it to church and I was able to come home and continue to rest.

Monday

3. Husband got a raise.  He works so hard for us. Working two jobs and biking to both jobs most of the time. Thankful. He works hard and it paid off. So proud of him.

4. Helping a friend with the last of my tea tree oil.

There is that nasty bug going around school. Lice. Its a bad word in our house. One time when teaching I had to deal with if for six weeks. The kid has had it once. ONCE is plenty. Tea Tree Oil is a natural repellent.  I was glad I had enough extra to help a friend out. That is the last thing anyone needs to deal with.  We will also be pulling her hair up and putting  hardening cream in it. Any barriers help!

Tuesday

5. I walked without my walking partner. I was having issues with my pace because of my hip being really angry. I went for distance. I overestimated how far away the bench was. Walked further than I planned. Walked almost five and half miles.

Wednesday

7. I got to take squish for a walk, baby wearing. We walked four and half miles. We went a slightly different way. It was actually very pleasant out.

8. Well as a testament to how much better I am getting. I walked with squish,baby-wearing, for another almost two miles.  I hit the ginger, turmeric and magnesium very hard.  I woke up in the middle of the night to realize I hit the magnesium a little too hard. The bathroom and I were very close at two am.

Thursday

9. New recipes. Even though I really don’t like the uncertainty of them. Will it come out? Will we like it? Did I just waste all that food?

We made zucchini chips and they were pretty darn tasty.

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Friday

10. I was asked to be a regular contributor to a news and entertainment magazine. It is still in the process but stay tuned for more information.

So that’s it. Ten things. This week it was fairly easy to come up with ten things. I seem to be making my way back up from depression. I really do hate the ebb and flow of it, even with medication.

Hey wait I just checked my email.

I have a new essay up about heart Health and men’s health over on Mamalode. Go check it out! Matters of the heart

Tell me your Ten things your thankful for this week!

And Don’t forget to check out the others on this hop!

Ten Things of Thankful Blog Hop

Happiness/contentment/rage/thankful/happiness :TTOT 71

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”Ten

Saturday

1. Pridefest, we helped our church run the booth there. It was so rewarding and my daughter had a great time. We had a great discussion on the way to the festival. Although the whole conversation about people should be able to marry who they love, regardless of gender, went a way I didn’t expect.
“So I can marry Joey Kenzie and Hayden?”

“What about a parent marrying their kid.”

Yeah wasn’t really ready to talk about THAT!

However, we did have a good talk and she really enjoyed herself as well.

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Sunday

2. We had a great time at my friends birthday party. Even though we were the only ones able to make it. The kid had fun playing with Princess P. We roasted Marshmellows over the fire and had pizza. It was simple and very enjoyable.

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Monday

3. New feast place, vegetarian organic and reasonably priced for a friend of mine and I to go to on our weekly lunch date. It will do much to keep us on track eating healthy.

Plus I just have to add: I bought the rainbow t the farmers market. This lasted us four days. Well , we do still have a few eggs left.  And I think a kiwi.  Oh wait. I forgot about the broccoli but that is for lunch today so gone in Five days.

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Tuesday

4. Rainbow juice in the morning and saved the pulp for a delicious dinner as well. If that is not multipurpose I don’t know what is.  The rainbow juice did not layer like the website said.. Spinach kale cucumber celery Apple pineapple carrots beets purple sweet potato  ginger and lemon. It was however very delicious!  Then for dinner I took the kale and spinach pulp that I had put aside and mixed it in with brown rice and Pearl Barley. Then took the beet and sweet potato pulp added olive oil and salt.  Baked chicken in lemon juice.

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5. I could say a comment by a family member rubbed me wrong. I could focus on that. That however would not be productive. Instead I am focusing on the fact that I banged out a new blog post and it was very very very well received.  I know a lot of people follow my blog and facebook page. Internet friends are real and some of the comments were just the balm my soul needed.  Read my rant here. 

Wednesday

What happened Wednesday? I am actually not sure. It is totally besides the point that I am writing this on Thursday and I am honestly having trouble recalling the past twenty four hours. Lets look at the pictures in my phone…….

6.  Ah yes. I took a walk babywearing my friends eight week old and managed to do three miles and only a few minutes behind what I normally do. Carrying  twelve to fourteen pound baby easily ups those calories by 100.

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Thursday
7. Grateful for a friend who pulled me out of my funk after my four mile walk. I was ready for it. The rest of my day I had planned out, didn’t go that way. Sometimes my ocd/anxiety really gets the best of me.

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This was me right before we went for my walk. I had to drop off my daughter at school first. Rocking the eighties workout look. Just needed leg warmers and a headband. I also weighed in on Thursday and lost another pound. Was finishing my juice on the way to meet my walking partner.

8. Grateful for friends who understand my need to help whenever I can, and take care of my kid. Went with  my other friend to Tampa to take her Eight week old to the doctor for a follow up from lip and tongue tie. I have lived in Florida all my life but these scenes never get old.

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Friday.

9. A beautifully perfect morning not even seventy degrees with a nice breeze for a walk with friends.

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Although my pedometer did not work due to lack of signal, I am sure this counts as todays exercise. Yes we climbed the stairs to the top. 76.1 feet.

10. We got an unexpected payment from Workmen’s comp from hubby’s thumb injury in July.

okay well.. Before I got the mail and saw the check I was going to list my corn intolerant problem as a thankful for weird reasons people with gastrointestinal issues will really understand. I couldn’t bring myself to delete it. So think of it as a bonus.

 We ran to the store this morning. I got some juice. The brand I normally get was not on sale. I grabbed the one for sale. Luckily I had only drank two oz or there abouts before realizing it had 91 kernels of corn in it. Corn intolerant.  It might be an odd thing to be thankful for. However, it has cleaned out my intestinal tract.  You never realize how much those suckers can hold until they are letting loose. HOWEVER, I don’t feel nearly as bloated anymore. Also grateful I can just rest and relax and recover from that.

What actually happened week one (May31-June7)

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We can plan only so much. We can do only so much. This is what life with a child is all about. It is also what life with a chronic illness is all about. Combined the two and things don’t always go as planned. This is a peak into our summer break, what is planned and followed by what actually happens.

 

Saturday:

Well of course she was up at six am. I let her watch Tv for an hour and realized at seven am it was pointless to stay in bed. We were out the door for a walk by seven thirty. Flipped her scooter up on the bike rack and we we were off. We started the trail at seven fifty. About every mile on this walk is a bench. We sat just about every time for a good ten minutes. I think this is why I did not swell as much. At the two mile mark I started stretching then sitting then stretching some more at our breaks. We stopped under the roadway bridge to listen to the bats and contemplate why we could hear them but not see them. OH but we could SMELL them. We found flowers. We saw a frog. We saw some poop, also known as scat

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Then we were off to meet my in laws for a belated birthday get together. On the twenty minute drive or so I had the kid read from her chapter book, squeezing it in where we can.We went to Myakka State Park which has both a boat tour and a tram tour. On the boat tour we learned mostly about alligators, the fish that live in the river and some of the bird life. We saw around twenty alligators. We then got on the tram after a short bathroom break. It is funny I have ridden that tram ride many times. It has new perspective for me as an adult as it did as a kid. I was more interested in the pioneers of Florida. It was fascinating the types of jobs that people had, ranging from Spanish moss gathering to Cattle hunters and even alligator hunters. Learned about a tree I never knew about, a water locust, and its big honking thorns. Pioneers used them for a multitude of things after they boiled them in water to get the toxin from them.  It was very interesting. On the way home I also had the kid read some more.

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We were outside from almost eight am to three pm. When we got home I immediately laid down and medicated.  The kid obviously was still at full steam and went out back to play.

 

Sunday:

We had our normal church morning and then after church a quick grocery shopping run. She also had her last harp concert of the season. All done until next school year.

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Monday:

It was the very last day of school. I originally thought to let her skip. She will have to go with me enough during the summer.

We did not go to the beach.. It was grey and over cast and forecast to rain. We did go for a short walk with a friend. Where we ran into …

 

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MANATEES. This was an unexpected surprise and a very pleasant one. Other mundane things happened, dinner and showers and such.

 

Tuesday oh Tuesday. I could not have predicted this and its just one of those things. I had severe fatigue. I had a severe headache. Even my own movement made me nauseous. It was completely a Pj and tv day. I did manage to get my daughter to read for an hour. That was about as productive as I got.

 

Wednesday we were not really sure what we wanted to do. Low and behold a message asking us to watch snickerdoodle. Of course we jumped at it! I made my daughter bring her book and a notebook.  While snickerdoodle napped she did her hour of reading. The writing prompt for Wednesday was to write using very descriptive words , seeing the manatees at the park.  There was lots of outside time. We even got a two mile walk in. I forgot how much harder a walk is when you are pushing a stroller. It is such a delight to see life through the eyes of  an almost two year old. Little things are big things. Excitement over trucks and squirrels and flowers and most importantly BUBBLES!

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Thursday started our first math tutor lesson. I did not stay for it as I wanted to get a walk in. I had realized I had not taken a walk by myself for a while and it is a good time for me to get some me time in. When I picked her up she was raving about the math lesson. Math is not as complicated as I think mommy! We got most of our hour reading session done and then had lunch with a friend.  The rest of the day was spent cleaning the house.

 

Friday came way to fast and after a rough night of very high anxiety dreams and then lack of sleep. I was looking forward to taking her to the library for a movie. I needed the calm comfort of the quiet sounds of the library to surround me. I stopped at the quarter book spot because who can pass up books for a quarter? NOT ME!!!  When my daughter found me. She didn’t want to watch the movie alone. Sigh.  We ran into Publix afterwards for lunchables and headed to the next library. This one has a nice pond in front and we say on a blanket and had lunch before going inside to get our hour of reading in.

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Then my favorite part. I had been looking forward to this part for at least two weeks. A class on archaeology with a real archaeologist!! It promised lots of hands on fun and it did not disappoint.  On the way home she wrote in her journal about what she learned. The coolest thing she liked? A six thousand year old clam shell.

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These pictures suck because most of the day I felt off just a bit and had the shakes. Could not seem to get a clear picture for anything.

 

Saturday. Oh thank god we made it to saturday. Oh but wait we have a nature hike planed. I know its a short trail. I know its gonna be hot. I also know the kid needs to get out of the house and expel some energy. She didn’t get up til six forty five this morning. That is almost like sleeping in for her. I woke up and thought, ” she isn’t awake yet….is she sick? I gave her the right amount of benedryl last night right? She was congested. Okay well if she is not awake by seven I will go check on her because if I check on her now , and she is asleep, she will wake up. Seven seems much saner to be up than six thirty.” but I didn’t go back to sleep. Just when I thought I couldn’t stand it any longer… She wakes up and comes to our room. Sigh okay.

Next task: Medicate and caffeinate. (spell check you are wrong Caffeinate is too a word.)

Then scroll the internet while waiting for it to kick in. Hoping it kicks in because man, the ache is bad today. The pain is already high.

I had grabbed some snack packs at Publix last night for today’s lunch so it will be hummus and carrots plus cheese and celery ,apples and grapes. Since we will be outside it is water to drink.

 

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I can honestly say it was completely worth it. We learned about Dragonflies, and Damsel flies. The difference between the two. We saw the shells from dragonflies at the larval stage.  We learned that dragonflies are deaf.  It was hot. It was sweaty. There was actually less walking than I had thought there would be so that was an added plus for me today.

We came home and the kid is now doing her writing prompt for the day, What did you learn on today’s walk. She has math home work from her math tutor and she will finish her book today and complete the assignment in the back about persuasive writing. I feel we are balancing the educational with the fun fairly well so far.

 

While it was exhausting it was also a great start to the summer break. It didn’t all go as planned, nothing ever does.

If you read to the end of this….THANKS YOU ROCK!!!

 

 

 

 

Tuesday Ten- summer bucket list

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The Golden Spoons

This year’s Summer bucket list.

1. Beach: Let me expand on that since we live in Florida. My goal is to get to the beach at least once a week. It is a lot more labor intensive then people think. Especially when going with kids. Sunscreen, Water, Snacks. Blanket. Book, Towels, Buckets and Shovels, Ziplock bags(for shells and other “treasures”)  Then the clean up and the miles of sand that ends up everywhere. But I am determined. Plus its free.

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2. Hiking: I want to also hit a nature trail at least once a week. I have some planned that are a bit of a drive but also I just want to keep up with my walking and also keep my daughter interested in fitness.

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3. visit from friends: I have a friend who is planning a visit. It only happens once a year. I am looking forward to all of it.  Seeing her, seeing my town through her eyes.

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(doesn’t she take the best pictures?)

4. Science: We have buckets of science planned. From library classes to dissections to aquariums and museums. The best part is the library classes are free and they run from squids, to germs, to invertebrate animals, even an archaeology class.

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5. Art class: This is a fun one. My daughter gets to do a pottery class. I get four hours twice a week kid free. I kinda want to do some of the pottery stuff with her but its her deal. Maybe we will get modeling clay so we can practice huh.

6. Reading: Oh the reading. We have been stacking up books for the last month. We may have gotten a bit carried away but we are okay with that. READ ALL THE BOOKS!

7. Disney camping trip: We are camping at Fort Wilderness. We are going to Epcot. We have planned it so that we get there one day, we go to Epcot another, we have another to relax and then head home.

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8 Learn to knit: This is a class I am hoping to sneak in on. We have been practicing sowing and she wants to do more and more things.  So maybe we can learn this one together.

9. Sleep in . Most of the classes and things scheduled don’t start until at least nine. So I don’t have to get out of bed before eight am! I am so so so looking forward to doing that and can’t wait to see the end tally of how many days I actually accomplished it!

10. Surprises: It may be an odd thing to have on a bucket list. I want surprises. It would not be as fun if everything we planned went exactly as planned. It is often the things that happen by surprise that make things better.

I will have to do a post at the end of the summer to see how many of these actually happen!

All I want to do is see the river……

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I did not want to go for a walk. I knew I needed to go for a walk, after all it is friday, Frozen yogurt day. I had also had Panera for lunch. I needed to burn some calories. I needed to move for my joints. I needed to walk to help promote better sleep tonight.  I decided I was going to go the the preserve but walk the trail on the other side. I had never walked this trail. Now this might not seem like a big deal. However I normally go with someone when I am doing a new trail. Someone who knows how to read trail maps better than me. I don’t think I read them too good.

This particular trail you park on one side of the road, cross the road and start the trail. However, it is right where the incline of a bridge starts. It’s just a short incline, then the trail. The key is….I would have to cross this again to get back to the car. So I cross the road. Get through the incline, and start on the trail. I am only a few minutes down the trail when a red shoulder hawk flies right in front of me. It then lands close by and starts to call very loudly. So I go check it out. There is a fence between me and him and I stop at the fence. He starts to fly off. I think.. it figures. But no….he could care less about me… There is a female hawk in a nearby tree.

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Hey baby wanna make a nest with me?

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So…do you come to this branch often?

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The whole walk has been made. It was worth it just to see those two. I continue on the trail a bit. I come to a sign. Service entrance only. um… WHAT? So I go back to where I started. I found where the actual trail begins. It was actually a lot less obvious than what turned out to be the service trail. Like I said I don’t feel a whole lot of confidence on reading the trail map, so I am really aware of the markers. I orient myself to where the marker is and where it is indicated on the map. I figured out what my path would be and how i would loop it back around to the beginning. Okay maybe I got this. Off we go.

Its been a bit and here we are at the first marker we come to. The marker 23. Okay. So I am on the right path. I decide I have plenty of time so I want to walk down to the  river and loop back. We come to the next marker, 22. So far so good. Markers 21, comes and goes. In much of Florida our woods and preserves have been invaded by invasive wild boar. They tear up the ground. I guess the trails are very convenient for them as they had torn up quite a bit of this one.

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For extra fun there is a fresh layer of um dead oak leaves on the ground. This hides some of the little holes. This was turning out to be more of a hike than a walk. Well I will sure enjoy extra hot fudge on my Frozen yogurt. That is how this exercise thing works right?

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Then there is a little path that veers off….do I follow that? I decide to just stay on the larger path and keep going. Now we come up to marker 18. I am starting to see that these markers are fairly accurate on where I think they should be as to where they appear on the map. This has not always been the case on trail maps.  We come up to a marker…… it says eleven. How the hell did I get to eleven? I just want to get a look at the river and maybe sit a few minutes. I look at the map.  I look back at the marker. Ooooohh not eleven.. That is a seventeen. The top of the seven was just hard to see. Ooooookkkaayy We are good. I follow the map and trail fairly well and even get down to the river. I wasn’t impressed with the view at first.

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Then I am retracing my steps a bit which is also what the map indicates you have to do. I find a little beaten down path. It leads right out to the water. There is a slight incline but I really want a good view of the river so I am good for it.

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Besides there is a tree right in the middle…I could always just use that to stop my fall right? I could get a little muddy but the water is right there so we are good right?

Lets just say it was worth that little incline.

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I get back up the incline to the path and my knees and ankles are like…yeah don’t try that again okay? I start off taking the path that loops back.  Marker nine. Check. Marker ten check. Marker eleven. Check. I keep on going. There are some birds calling that I don’t quite recognize and I file it away to go to the Audubon site to see if I can match them up. I came to the next Marker…..or so I thought. Turns out I went the wrong way and ended back at 15. I could have just followed that back. I was determined now though to finish the walk. So I turned around and back tracked and took the right path. Shortly there after I come to marker seven. Between Marker six and five there is a bench indicated and it looks like it looks at the river. So I am going to check it out.

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Really was worth the little detour. I climbed over those logs a bit and there across the river, was an alligator. The alligator is in the second picture above on the shore. Really he looks like a log. The only difference is this particular log moves, and has teeth.

He really was a tiny alligator. I would have to say maybe four years old or so. When they are younger than four they have stripes. Anyway, it made the little detour worth while. So next marker was five and then four. At three there is another indication of a detour to see the river. So I took it.

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So now I am confident on where I am at I explore some little off shoots. Then the worse part.

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The incline back to the car. I get to the top of this and I really want to go down the little bit and see the river from the bridge.

It did not disappoint.

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Hey maybe I can read a trail map pretty good. I do think there would be some market value in an app that tracks your gps on trail maps. Of course then the trail maps would have to be online as well. It would be something I would be interested in, for when I walk the trails by myself.

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I like more landmarks than most trail maps put on there. Like you will pass a pile of old cement pilings…..or you will pass an abandoned tank of some sort here. Although how they would depict that on a map, I have no idea. They would probably label it what it was and I would be like well we passed a tank looking thing back there, I guess that’s what they mean.  Maybe on the app that someone could create they could also let others add landmarks. Maybe they would use terms others would understand.  These are the kinds of things I find myself thinking about on my walks by myself.  Birds, trail map apps, pigs, and wanting to just see the river.

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All pictures were taken by me with my Android Phone.  The river is the Myakka River. This preserve is Sleeping Turtles North.

Prepare prepare prepare

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The thing to do when you have chronic illness is pace yourself. There is something to do before that though. First you need to prepare. If you know in advance that is, if not its all about recovery.

We have a huge big group hike that we have been planning happening tomorrow. Well if it is Thursday it is happening today but, I am writing this Wednesday.So we kept activities very minimum and flexible as well. I even came home and took a nap. I really did not have much of a choice actually. I came home from a rather short activity for me and laid down. Tried to get into the computer with my tv on like I normally do. I knew  shortly after that I needed sleep. It was a good way to start preparing for tomorrow.

Tonight I will take an epsom bath and when I wake in the middle of the night, as I inevitably will, I will re-medicate without hesitation. I normally wait. I don’t like to take anything if I can get back on my own. Tonight however, sleep will be imperative. I will also stagger my melatonin and other night meds, for whatever reason they work better if I take them about an hour apart. The only thing I can think of is it is like stepping your body down from the day. I will probably take the magnesium first with half dose of melatonin. My heart meds the next hour and then the last one will be benedryl so I can breathe.  (I know there are other things to take, Benedryl was what my ENT and I settled on).

In the morning it will still be about preparing. Coffee of course will happen. A good breakfast will be vital today especially. A good bowl of quality oatmeal, some chopped almonds tossed in.  About an hour after breakfast I will drink some green juice mixed with some soy protein.  Lunch will be light. Probably Cheese and crackers and apple. A pocket full of almonds and cashews, a bottle of water and we will be off. It sounds like a lot. Especially when you think that is just to get me ready and not the kid. At eight though she pretty much takes care of herself. We go on hikes enough she knows to drink lots of water and she will probably have the same lunch as me.

The last thing I will do is take my multivitamin right before we go. Its kinda like a little pep before we go.Just one more way to give my body a little oomph.

This is what works for me. It has taken me literally years to know how to prepare and not just recover. There was a lot of trial and error. There was a lot of thinking or over thinking or under thinking going on. There were even a few I found by accident, like stacking my medications. Only stack your medications like that if they are not scripts. If they are scripts talk to your Doctor first. I can not stress enough the importance of water. When you think you are hydrated, drink some more. I would encourage only water but whatever it takes for you to be hydrated. Often we get the Mio electrolyte additive drops for flavor and a maintaining hydration. The key to finding what works for you is to journal it. Jot down notes when you can about what you did , how it worked. I kept mine in just a microsoft word file for the longest time. There are also a lot of good pain journal apps that will help as well. I still use one off and on.

The last bit of advice is remember to this will NOT stop you from hurting after a big activity. It is to reduce the impact. It is still important to pace and to recover. Do not consider this pampering yourself. This is self care and it is vital.

Also…if you have followed me for even a little bit….you know there is a hike post coming as well!

Why I write

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Some people have asked why I write? Why not?  Why do I write? What do I write about. I will attempt to answer this without going off on a  tangent. 

I am not saying that I think I am this super great writer. I am not.  I am sure no one will read my posts every single time I post. 

I am saying if you have a desire to write, write. Try not to worry about who will read it. For years Talk Therapy worked really well for my anxiety and to help give me the ability to discern what was important. I floundered for a year without therapy. Then I started reading more and more blogs. I started to see this maybe an outlet for me. A from of therapy.  It didn’t matter what others thought if it was helping me then great. 

Slowly ever so slowly it has become more and more about helping other people. Helping other see they are not alone. 

I started the page first.  I was encouraged by a great friend who really believes in me to write. I wasn’t sure I was ready to do that so I felt starting a page would be a good first step. I asked my friend Jenn to join me so again it took some pressure off. It was not about the numbers. How many likes I could get. It was about seeing if there were people out there who would listen. It turned to be how we can help each other. I still have no idea how I have over three thousand followers. That just amazes me on a daily basis.  I have tried not to take the numbers dropping as a personal insult. Try to keep that therapy speak going in my brain. Its not about me. Its not about me. To just keep going with the people who are staying. That are finding the help. 

More and more I want to write things that help others.  It’s a different kind of therapy.  Its working for me though. Getting things off my chest that are bothering me or holding me back.  

Except when it doesn’t. When I want to write. When I feel the need to write. The things I am thinking are not for sharing though. They are mine. They are not ready to be shared. SO I look for ways to write and satisfy that need and still help others too.  

I don’t write in a convenient little niche. I am not just a parent. I am not just a chronic illness patient. I am not just a wife. I am not just a photographer, a nature enthusiast or a book lover. I am all the above. I am a mix of it all.  I don’t relate only to one subject so why should i only write about one thing. I take pictures….obsessively. I don’t consider myself a great photographer. But the very fact that I love taking them makes me relate to what others say about photography.  I don’t consider myself an expert about hiking or enjoying nature. We do however follow up on our curiosity. Why are there no daddies in with the mommy and baby goats. Why do mullets jump? Why do Ospreys make so much noise when they have a fish? Just how long do bee’s live anyway?  I like reading reviews of books, I like writing them as well. I don’t think I am a budding book reviewer either. Its just something I can relate to. I am no marriage counselor but I can give advice, I can also take it. I think chronic illness and parenting speak for themselves. 

If you want to write…..write….If you want to take pictures…take them. Don’t wait. Don’t wonder who will care. YOU CARE. Maybe after a few times you realize no ….not something I want to pursue. The mistake we have been told is that its something you only do when you are trying to find your place in this world. The truth is….we are always trying to find our place in this world. We are always learning what we do like and don’t like. When we stop doing that. We stop living.