It has been a while since I published anything however, I have been thinking a lot. I don’t want to come off as bragging or saying I know how to do it. I want to remain as humble as I feel in person, in my words. I promised I would address the other questions asked and so here is the next one.
What are the Qualities that you, your husband and your daughter are manifesting to stay optimistic, maintain Harmony in your Family?
What’s it like every morning when you wake up? What do you say to yourself to keep going on a positive Path?
When you first open your eyes it’s not the first thing you think about. It is more like the fifth thing I thought about. It was not because I didn’t think it was urgent. Other things were more important immediately, going potty, medication, coffee, pants. It was then that it would hit. I can’t do this anymore. How can I keep looking? Why are we still looking? Often friends sent me quotes or images that hit the nail on the head at just the right moment. I had a list of sites I checked daily and then, frankly I moved on. Sure, I sent inquiries, I responded to ads. I refused to allow it to consume me. I know some people felt I should have been looking every waking moment. However, what kind of life is that for my kid? It is just temporary they might say. Sometimes it is the littlest things that make the biggest impact, especially on kids. It was more important to me to keep a sense of normalcy. We went to the water park that was free. We went on hikes. We did not stop living. I am pretty sure that is how I got through it all. I still did the normal things. The only difference was I was checking those sites two to three times a day. As it was it still felt like a sucker punch to the gut every time I put in our search parameters and got no results. I got email responses multiple times a day. Often it was a two-word response. No thanks. Sometimes more, not what we are looking for; i.e. kids,dog, cat, family. Seeing those emails come in was like, ” oh maybe this is…..” and then a sucker punch.
There seems to be a lot of help out there until you really start getting involved with a program. I did not mind the hoops. I had nothing to hide, let’s jump through hoops. It was the end result of no help. It was the false hope they provided.
To be honest there were so many times I was not positive. I cried myself to sleep more times than I like to admit to. It was the living as close to normal as possible that pulled me along and teased out the positive. There were times I felt down right hysterical.
Self-care was vital and it took me a while to realize I needed more self-care than normal due to higher stress than normal. It took a while for me not to feel guilty about that Self-care. It took listening to positive guided affirmations to fall asleep to each night to keep positive. It took a host of friends who seemed to just know the right time for a treat or an escape.
What I think is essential is to write down what your boundaries are. What can and can’t you live with. It is totally different for each person. Some programs were eliminated before beginning because I knew I couldn’t live like that. To some, that may seem wrong, that we were turning down help. It is not help if it is not going to last. Knowing your boundaries is essential.
Ultimately, I was able to stay more and more positive because I started looking and acting within my boundaries of living. I stopped caring what others thought we were doing wrong. They were not living it, we were. I chanted, ” you do not owe anyone an explanation” over and over until I believed it. Truthfully, I don’t fully own it but I am trying to.
A positive path came from doing what worked for my family and I and not what others thought we should do.
The other questions left to explore:
How do you combine the Presence of your Mind and your Heart to get thru the Day and take necessary Steps?
What are the Resources in the Community that are available for other good folks who struggling in todays Society?
What are the Counseling and Spiritual Resources that have been most helpful?
What Resources are still missing that could be of major assistance in the Community?
What have been the Benefits of this Journey for you and your Family? What strengths have you developed because
of this situation?
If you have questions you would like to add email me at Chronicallysickmanicmother@gmail.com
I hope to get back in the swing of publishing posts more often soon.