The missing Grateful (#10thankful post)

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Recently I have not been as active in Ten Things of Thankful as I would like to be. It wasn’t because I lacked things to be thankful for. There is a plethora. I was missing something. I was missing that link to being thankful to actually feeling thankful. I had gotten to the point where I was like yeah yeah I have this and that and those to be thankful for but really, I am not FEELING thankful. That deep down in the bottom of your heart true feeling of ……….gratitude. Ooooooohhh maybe I need to change the word. Maybe it’s a word thing holding me up. Getting me all tangled and discombobulated.

Here enters in Dr. Rebecca Ray, and her instagram account that somehow I started following and I believe she followed me back and then that was it for a while. Here is someone who is putting out a similar vibe as what I am aiming for and sharing it!!!!  Often it happens this innocently , for me anyway, where someone likes a photo.  The next thing I know I am on their instagram and then on their website and before you know it I had found and downloaded her gratitude journal. I can’t remember my exact thought process but it followed the line of maybe I need to stop thinking of what I am thankful for. Maybe I need prompts. Oh how I really hate prompts. I really, really do.  Don’t tell me what to write about. Don’t give me IDEAS!!!! What if that is not how I am feeling that day? WHAT IF I AM AVOIDING THAT AREA OF MY LIFE?

So I downloaded the journal. I can do this. Sure I can do this. Oh I like that quote. Um. Eh. OHHH that is sticky. Well another thing I absolutely abhor is useless written things. If I write, I want to share. If it helps someone, great. It helps me to share so I share. Some of these though? Oh yeah that word vulnerable came to mind.

Enter in Brene Brown’s book  Rising Strong which I had been listening to for, I don’t know a week?. I had long ago decided I was okay with being vulnerable to also have compassion and empathy. Her book was speaking to the whole-hearted living I wanted but also how to deal with the tired of being hurt.

These two things percolated and collided and percolated and collided until I realized the only thing I could do.

I had to post my gratitude journal daily on Instagram. I like Instagram the most because photos say so much more then words but then you can add in words. Poetry words, rhyme words, words in general.

So for my Ten Things of Thankful Post I have included the first five days of my journal. If you are on instagram; sorry for the repeat but now you know the process of how it came to be as well.

Day one of gratitude journal I downloaded from@happihabits

Today I am grateful for the following sounds in my day.
Coffee done brewing dinging
Mockingbirds and hawks
Children’s laughter
People singing
Glasses tinkling
Waves crashing
Seagulls screeching
Doves cooing
Popcorn popping
Bathtub splashing

Gratitude journal day two

…..wowzer. I am grateful for my strengths.

On a day where I am not feeling very strong….. I am grateful for my strength to always try again.
I am grateful for my strength to always look for beauty
I am grateful for my strength to believe in good.
I am grateful for my strength to keep going
I am grateful for my strength to live in the now
I am grateful for my strength to function despite depression
I am grateful for my strength to be there for others
I am grateful for my strength to laugh during hardship.
I am grateful for my strength to spread love through the hate
I am grateful for my strength to write about my issues

I don’t even know if these are strengths but I am counting them as such.

Gratitude journal day three

….I am grateful for the simple things in life.

Today’s simple things that I am so incredibly grateful for.

Sun peaking out from behind clouds
Walking in the park with kid and dog
Lunch out with friend
Beer
Friends who love on my kid
People who drop and send light/prayers/vibes at the drop of a hat
A car to drive me to appointments
A phone and internet to search for housing
Friends who send me housing ideas
Free cookies

So much more that I can’t even put into words.

Day four of gratitude journal
Wow this is one I struggle with daily often hourly or minute by minute.

I am grateful for my health.

I am grateful for a body that produced such a gorgeous daughter.
I am grateful for a body that provided for my daughter’s needs.
I am grateful for my eye health
I am grateful for the health of my hair.

I am grateful for my health issues as they have made me slow down and look at life differently.Gratitude journal day five

Gratitude Journal day Five:

 

 

Today I am grateful for my basic needs being met.

Coffee
Medication
A car to drive
A job to go to
Food to eat
Time to relax
Shelter from the storms
A place to sleep

 

I don’t know what it is but this has been working and what lays in store is exciting. I am positive it is going to blow my mind. I am positive this is the right track. I am positive this is the grateful that has been missing.

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9 responses »

  1. I really like your instagram thankfuls/gratefuls, and how you team them with beautiful photos. I don’t think it matters much how you do it, and in what format, but DOING the thankful, the listing, the focus, HELPS!

    (and remember – you don’t have to feel it to be it)

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  2. Wow, Erin, I’m reading your thankfuls and I am feeling so much gratitude. And the positivity that follows. I’m so glad things are looking up for you and your family and the living situation.

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  3. Daily journals, which ever format they take are really helpful in keeping our thought patterns together and composing longer posts. As for gratitude journals, they are a very helpful tool in keeping us positive. 🙂 Sometimes we overlook the small things. I’ve read many positive things in the things you’ve shared with us on this post.

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  4. Lizzi sorta wrote my comment. Especially the part of not needing to feel that you’re feeling it. (or is that know that you feel that you know that you’re feeling)…. but then, wouldn’t that mean that..

    lol

    being somewhat (wait a minute… this internet is nothing if it’s not handy for finding something (in this case a cool word) whether you need it or not…. anhedonia ! yeah, I’m liking that word for the inability to feel enjoyment in doing those things that should produce enjoyment…or something like that.
    in any event, I’m a total believer in the power of ‘identification’, finding people who I know have experienced the world (in whole or in one tiny part) as I have. Such is the case of my own participation in the TToT, I benefit by my participation. Whether I feel it or not.
    for that, I’m grateful

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  5. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that purposefully focusing on positive things, acknowledging things for which I am grateful, helps me and my attitude tremendously. Keep it up! (And glad to hear your housing issues are getting resolved!)

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  6. I understand those days – when you know you ARE grateful, but can’t necessary FEEL that way. I don’t think it makes us any less so. I’m intrigued by this gratitude journal – may hop over and check that out. And I so admire how you’ve hung in there through all of the struggles you’ve been through lately. So very happy to know that things are looking up a bit!

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