I am not sure how this happened. Well, that is not technically true, I do know. All hell broke loose. That is what happened. It has indeed been a month since I wrote, what better way then to start back with a Ten Things of Thankful post.
If you don’t know we are now in Emergency Shelter our animals are not with us and we have to find housing by June 22nd. The houses/apartments I have found have been at least two to three hundred out of our monthly price range.But Don’t worry Florida, you don’t have a homeless problem.
Seriously, don’t ask me how I stay positive. I don’t, I can fake it though and they say fake it until you make it. So…… Coffee, chocolate, beer and really good friends is getting me through. The really good friends is one of the reasons we don’t move. Support systems are important.
It is getting me through the daily punch in the gut when I wake up and look on my phone to see what has been posted for rent and find nothing in our price range.
It is getting me through the day after some really really bad news about help I was hoping we would get. Day Drinking. It seemed like a good idea. The day of I couldn’t remember why I don’t do this more often. The next morning, Oh yes this is why. I can’t do that anymore. I also think getting two beers once a month, maybe at that is not too much either.
It is getting me through the separation of me and my dog.
It is getting me out of bed to even be able to see anything good in the day. Baby ducks, little caterpillars, just born calves.
It is getting me through to see that the little things in life really do help. Like a hot bath at the end of the day.
It is getting me through most of this without gaining too much weight because my stomach rebels and nothing stays in my system for long. Stress? What stress? This could not possibly be stress induced.
It is choosing every day after my coffee that today I will be positive and look for the good. Sometimes it is an hourly decision. Sometimes not even hourly.
It is deciding to be sarcastic and laugh so that I don’t cry and curl up in the fetal position.
chronicallysickmanicmother 
Having been homeless I can attest so how soul-erodingly shit it is, in every possible way. Nobody in this day and age should be without shelter.
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I don’t ‘like’ this I FREAKIN’ LOVE THIS!!!! And you, of course. From me, who’s employing some of the same techniques to avoid my own meltdown. Anxiety from hell and giving into it is only going to make the hell worse. Instead, I’m cleaning…including the bathroom…yep, even the bathroom being sparkly is helping to quasi-soothe me. Quasi, such a great word? I’m quasi managing. I know you get it.
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Bravo, bravo, bravo…HANG ON IN THERE my friend. For real. You’re amazing and I know it doesn’t help YOU, but it helps me to be inspired by your courage in sharing your story and your struggles.
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I follow you on Instagram and there are some things that really confuse me. First, if I were homeless and looking for permanent shelter all while having financial difficulties I certainly wouldn’t be frequently eating out in restaurants, drinking alcoholic beverages and such. You want people to donate to your Gofundme but I have a real problem donating my hard earned money to someone that doesn’t really seem to be using money too wisely. Second, does your husband work and support you and your daughter? I see posts about odd jobs that you do but never anything about your husband working? Do you both have full time jobs? I really like to know where my money is going when donating to a cause. I really think you should be a little more transparent when soliciting donations.
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First of all…. Instagram has a direct message you can send which could have been used to ask this. Even commenting on Instagram is fine. I have never had any problem being transparent and often over explain myself. Being that it was recently my birthday I did not. Second of all, you are assuming I paid for these things. For the most part, 99% of the time I do not. I have fantastic friends who understand I can’t afford it right now and pay. I don’t always spell it out because to us it’s not about who pays but a little stress relief. I have known most of these people a really long time and who pays is really never the issue, even though it’s almost always them.
I really don’t feel I hide anything and have been seriously open about answering questions. There is so so so much I share that spelling out exactly who pays for what just seems trivial. I do understand where you are coming from, I can see how you would think these things. Assumptions are my biggest pet peeve though, so I am sorry if this comes off as annoyed that s why. Yes my husband does work. He works a full time job and a part time job plus some side jobs. I have a part time job cleaning the church and running the av/sound system. With all my chronic illnesses it is all I can do to get those hours done. He does not however drive so a place near by that does not make his bike riding too much is essential and by too much I mean more than the 25 miles he already rides almost daily. We do treat ourselves typically to one meal out to a cheap place on the rare days he only works one job.
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I don’t even know what to say hon. I just can’t imagine what it is like. I just can’t and it breaks my heart that in a country like yours, America, things like this happen. How does it happen? It happens here in mine too. I am so thankful that you have such good friends who are helping you out in this time. I wish I could hug the crap out of them. Bless their hearts. Keep being funny and sarcastic and know that it’s ok to also be not ok. This is tough. So tough. Sending you so much love and hoping that things start turning up for you.
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Hoping for more relief for you and pet soon. I am glad you are able to join us. It could always been worse for us. Continue on noticing the positives.
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Having livex out of my car for three months many years ago, i can attest that you’re going through hell. Im so sorry…you will come out the other side stronger and more capable than you ever knew you could be.prayers for you and your family.
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Reading this makes me wish I could do something – anything. All I can do is send thoughts of a big hug your way and hope you catch a big break soon.
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Oh, Erin, I knew from facebook that you’ve been having a hard time, and I’m so sorry. Sending many warm, squishy thoughts your way.
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I do hope that something comes up soon for you.
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Sarcasm has gotten me through so much crap too. I can see that. And the chocolate part.
🙂
Your observation that a support system is important is the truest thing there is.
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I am so very sorry that you are struggling right now. You are trying to see light in a dark situation and I have to believe that will pay off for you soon.
As an aside, you are a gifted writer, maybe you should use that gift to chronicle your struggles and shine light on Florida’s (and the Nations) homeless problem? It may give you a perceived purpose, and at the very least distract you from the mess. ❤
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Erin, I know how hard you’ve been struggling and please know that you and your family (pups too) are in my thoughts and prayers always. I know it isn’t tangible, but I firmly believe that it helps. Prayer and the love and support of loved ones is what has gotten us through the last few years – and still in many ways. Hang in there.
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