Most days I still wake up feeling Like I am that crazy teenager wanting a serious relationship and not nearly ready for the amount of responsibility I actually have. It astounds me that today at four pm, my husband and I will have been married for fifteen years. We have been in a relationship for eighteen years.Our relationship is old enough to be a legal adult. What? Don’t let that fool you into thinking we are mature adults. Farts are still funny. They will always be funny. We will always pick on each other. We will always laugh at stupid grade school jokes. Uranus.
I still remember so many people asking me at our wedding reception when the baby is due. Um what baby? Yes I am nineteen. Yes I got married. No I am not pregnant. Oh honey you have so much time left for serious relationships. Go out and live a little first. Um, well I found the man so I guess we are going to go out and live a little together. It amazed me how many went from when is the baby due to well wait a couple years to have kids. I only ever wanted to be a Mommy. Waiting was not what I had in mind. It was what Life had in mind though. Four and a half years of waiting for our miracle. Struggle and heartache during those years but oh so worth it.
Anyway this post is not really about the kid so back to this whole married thing. Fifteen years. I just …. I can’t even. How the hell did this happen? I don’t know. People have asked me for relationship advice in the last several years. ME!! I don’t know I have not dated in years. Why ask me? Oh long-standing relationship, yeah I see your point.
I guess when I really sit down and think about it. We don’t try to change each other. I know he is going to take FOREVER to get ready to go somewhere. Me? Pants check, shirt check. flip-flops check, keys, Got it let’s go. Does it annoy me and infuriate me sometimes. HELL YES IT DOES! just walk out the door. Lets go already. He gets in the car. I let it go. At this point I let it go if it even bothered me in the first place. I just automatically try to work that in to my schedule. We have to be there at four pm so I need to tell him to get ready by three and three thirty and we might be out the door by three forty five. You know what though? I don’t yell at him and pick on him to change it. Well mostly, unless we are running late but then…okay okay let it go. However, I know for a fact there are things I do that drive him just as nuts. I mean really we have to have crappy nitpick things to pick on each other when we are not arguing about something big right? Right. In fact, the more I think about it, little stuff like that we both are really good at letting go. I mean its like gone, not that its gone until we have a fight. It’s just gone.
We communicate. Mostly I would say that is it. We communicate. We tell each other what happened, is going to happen, might possibly happen. We do this however without being little detail oriented. I don’t tell him when I go to the bathroom while he is at work. I don’t tell him what I had for breakfast after he left.Although sometimes we do because POOP is always an interesting conversation. There are some decisions we both have to make when the other is not there and we just kind of go from there. I don’t you know like decide we are going to move or where we are going to move. I don’t just go out and buy a car and come home and say well I had to make a choice.
I guess we are really lucky in some respects. We started our relationship and three weeks later I saw him on life support. I MEAN LIFE SUPPORT. Like machines breathing for him and the little heart monitor making sure he had a heart beat kind of life support. It has always boiled down to we have each other. Infertility, miscarriage, money issues, housing issues, plumbing issues. We have each other. We don’t need more than that.
Well maybe some Oreos for me and some hard cider for him but you know each other works too.