Sometimes we think we have fully dealt with an issue, then a harmless conversation comes up. For hours later my mind was a tangled mangled dark and dreary mess. Things were fresh and hurting and pulsing again. I really felt I had dealt with most of it. I knew there was more work to do but, I didn’t expect it to do this. Anger that they could still hurt me. Frustration that I even let them hurt me again. I can write it now and it seems so clear but it really wasn’t that clear. It was like a thunderstorm approaching and its not until it was right upon me that I realized it was a duck and take cover kind of storm. Some medication, some meditation, some loving-kindness and self-forgiveness and I felt like the storm at the very least calmed to a light drizzle. The next day I let myself stay in bed and pout a little, then went with a friend to the beach. I mean really what better way to clear the storm than the beach? Like after a storm the ground is still wet and it still feels raw but its better, no longer building and pulsing, just drained and spent.
Ten things of thankful is about looking for the silver lining; Looking for the positive that did happen. What did happen was pretty fantastic when I look back and study my week.
1. That I have friends who can just get away for a few hours and know that sometimes talking is over-rated.
2. That I have a husband and kid that mean the world to me.
3. That I get these kinds of views first thing in the morning.
4. That I still have a walking partner and I was still able to walk with squish, even if it seems like spring is already gone.
5. That I can actually see the progress I have made emotionally, spiritually and physically.
6. I am pretty sure number five counts as three.
7. That I still have two months left of school, which means I still have time to plan out the summer.
8. That I have a job that allows me to just pack him up in the car and take him places so that I can still keep my kid entertained this summer. Did you follow all that?
9. New Juicer. Never realized how inefficient my other one was. This one is pretty amazing!
10. That between my bookshelves, my friends bookshelves and all the wonderful authors I know and have met through blogging, I am never without reading material for more than a few seconds.