Mental mash and mush

Slow and sluggish my brain starts the day. A touch of chai and we are on our way.

Talking talking talking. Text , email, in person. Talking talking talking

In the quiet is where it happens.

Swirling, twirling, thrashing, harsh

Things and thoughts I thought I had laid to rest rise

from the depth of the abyss they rise.

The sorrow runs deep, the confusion still fresh.

How is this after years have gone by?

Like the newest youngest sprout

that has just lost its outer shell

The shell that held it all tucked and safe.

Content to do nothing until it is time.

My newest self is like that sprout.

Instead of my shell being reabsorbed.

It lies broken and open at my greening feet.

Glancing down at that broken open shell,

realizing content was not what happened in there.

Sorrow at seeing that shell again.

The shell I thought I had laid to rest.

Look away. look away. look away

Focus on the now.

Focus on the growth

Marvel at the changes I have made.

with a glance, melancholy lances the heart.

It is still there. Broken and open.

Focus on that one day too

A glance will bring peace instead of pain.

The shell says gently.

I understand. Go on now. Grow and live.

Look back for lessons.

Look back for strength.

But do not dwell on that broken open shell.