Step by step back on the right path

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Eating.
Oh eating.
When did you become my nemesis?

Oh who am I kidding? I have always had a weakness for food.

It is cheaper and easier to just buy the packaged sugared crap. If I eat it, its not like its going to matter, I have a corn intolerance. In case you didn’t know, corn is in EVERYTHING. I will just be depositing it in the toilet shortly after consuming it. Sometimes I eat it, knowing this but not really caring. Sometimes the emotional pleasure I get is worth it. Sometimes it is just what I have access to. Real food, fresh food, costs money. It is not cheap and easy to get. Unless you can garden, which I can’t. I kill plants by looking at them wrong. Serious. I even killed a cactus and an aloe plant. The problem with just giving in and not watching the corn intake. It does damage. I only discovered this when I started having issues absorbing nutrients. Vitamin D, Potassium, Iron, Magnesium, talk about lots of fun. The better my diet is, the better I absorb. That is, the less corn and corn products I eat.
So why do I find myself still drinking coffee and scarfing candy. It is immediate emotional gratification. I really like the immediate part. I can tell you all the things refined processed sugar can do to the body. I know how bad it is.
I have been trying this new thing called self-compassion. So you veered off and ate tootsie rolls until you were sick. So so so sick. Instead of spending time beating myself up and being grumpy because I had crappy food crap.   Instead I am just veering back on to the path. Rainbows of food. Real food. Purple sweet potatoes, beets, apples, cauliflower, carrots. Brussel sprouts that is what is in our refrigerator this week. Each week a portion of my cleaning money goes to fresh produce. Sometimes I can get enough so we can eat it and juice it as well.  One step at a time we are getting on the right track.I try and go online and find recipes. I start out really good. I then end up on pinterest. I try and keep the searches narrow. It never fails. I find myself drooling over crockpot foods. Mostly that sounds like a good thing right? Oh no, I mean like crock pot french toast, Crock-pot omelettes with you know bacon and ham. Then I still have no recipes. Which really in the long run is okay for me. I am not good at following instructions. It is better to just wing it when I am cooking.

This self compassion thing isn’t really new,I have been trying to do it regular for months. That inner critic voice though ,man-that’s one tough bitch. Compassion for others is something that comes very naturally to me. Why is it hard to do the same for myself?
Changing your palate so you like this healthy organic good for you stuff is hard work. It is working though. I feel it. The other day I was craving beets. BEETS! Who craves beets? Apparently I do. Apparently my body does know what is what. I have a potassium deficiency and I do battle depression and I have hypertension. Guess what helps all three of those? BEETS! It is not enough for me to just crave something. I have to search WHY I am craving it. Slowly week by week we have branched out. We have been trying new things. We had brussel sprouts for the first time in forever two weeks ago. We got persimmons this week. We are also really loving the purple sweet potatoes.
Will I veer off the path again? YES! Most certainly! I know myself too well. Besides the obvious of Pumpkin Pie coming up. There are two words. Apple Crisp.
Plus we still have Halloween candy left.
In between we will keep having our juice, we will keep exploring the farmers market,  and we will be gentle without ourselves when we fall off.
Into the apple crisp….
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7 responses »

  1. I share your unfortunate luck in having a corn intolerance, although mine causes itchy rashes and night sweating. It really is in everything and has so many sneaky names. Maltodextrin, I just learned that one. I also crave beets sometimes. I like to roast them with olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Yum!

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  2. Oh yes, I hear you! It’s so hard to eat healthy! I love coffee and sweets. And that is awesome if you are craving beets, it definitely means your body must be adjusting to a healthier diet!

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  3. I have found over the years that the more you eat well, the easier it is and the more your body wants that. Beets are awesome – my Daughter and I will eat them any way you present them. I use them in smoothies. We make beet and carrot soup. We pickle them and roast them. My Husband won’t even look like one. Have you tried beets in cupcakes yet? Awesome. Kind of like zucchini in chocolate cake or avocado in brownies. I just found a sort of “red velvet-y” cupcake that has beets and chocolate and cream cheese icing. I showed my daughter and she got very excited…

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