When did you become my nemesis?
Oh who am I kidding? I have always had a weakness for food.
It is cheaper and easier to just buy the packaged sugared crap. If I eat it, its not like its going to matter, I have a corn intolerance. In case you didn’t know, corn is in EVERYTHING. I will just be depositing it in the toilet shortly after consuming it. Sometimes I eat it, knowing this but not really caring. Sometimes the emotional pleasure I get is worth it. Sometimes it is just what I have access to. Real food, fresh food, costs money. It is not cheap and easy to get. Unless you can garden, which I can’t. I kill plants by looking at them wrong. Serious. I even killed a cactus and an aloe plant. The problem with just giving in and not watching the corn intake. It does damage. I only discovered this when I started having issues absorbing nutrients. Vitamin D, Potassium, Iron, Magnesium, talk about lots of fun. The better my diet is, the better I absorb. That is, the less corn and corn products I eat.
So why do I find myself still drinking coffee and scarfing candy. It is immediate emotional gratification. I really like the immediate part. I can tell you all the things refined processed sugar can do to the body. I know how bad it is.
I have been trying this new thing called self-compassion. So you veered off and ate tootsie rolls until you were sick. So so so sick. Instead of spending time beating myself up and being grumpy because I had crappy
food crap. Instead I am just veering back on to the path. Rainbows of food. Real food. Purple sweet potatoes, beets, apples, cauliflower, carrots. Brussel sprouts that is what is in our refrigerator this week. Each week a portion of my cleaning money goes to fresh produce. Sometimes I can get enough so we can eat it and juice it as well. One step at a time we are getting on the right track.I try and go online and find recipes. I start out really good. I then end up on pinterest. I try and keep the searches narrow. It never fails. I find myself drooling over crockpot foods. Mostly that sounds like a good thing right? Oh no, I mean like crock pot french toast, Crock-pot omelettes with you know bacon and ham. Then I still have no recipes. Which really in the long run is okay for me. I am not good at following instructions. It is better to just wing it when I am cooking.