Mother’s often have unrealistic expectation from others. We should get up and care for others all day long. It should fulfill us and complete us. In a lot of ways it does. It doesn’t mean though that we don’t need time for us. We can not keep caring for others continually without caring for ourselves. The problem is a lot of Mother’s feel guilty for taking that time for themselves.
I have found I need a mixture for my personal time. Time that renews and restores me.
I take a walk twice a week with a friend. Not just for health reasons but it helps mentally as well. We walk outside which has it’s own health benefits. It gives us time that we can actually take care of our bodies and still vent about what a tough morning it was. This works for me. It will not work for everyone.
The thing is, this kind of me time is not enough for me. I need some time to just to be alone.
I also go to the school sometimes a half hour early but mostly fifteen minutes. . Not because I don’t have other things to do. I do. I could get quite a lot done in that thirty minutes. However that time is mine. I sit in my car and read. Sometimes I drink a soda with it. Sometimes I don’t get much reading done. Sometimes I find myself staring out the window watching the trees blow in the wind or birds frittering here and there. It is my quiet time. I can settle my mind from the million and one things I do when the kid is in school and get myself ready to be fully involved in whatever my daughter needs me to be.
You can get this kind of stress relief in as little as five minutes of reading.
I tried not protecting it. I tried saying its nice if it happens but its not necessary. Seriously I can’t set aside even fifteen minutes for just me? Where if I don’t want to talk to anyone, I don’t have to. I have found myself when I am really stressed out, going to my reading spot early. Sitting there with the windows down, the sun streaming in. Vitamin D is something that a lot of people are low in. Five minutes of sunshine does wonders for you mentally. Soaking up that sunshine is literally working on my happiness at a cellular level. Think of it as taking a vitamin if you have to.
I protect that time like a two year old who is determined to hold on to a toy. It is mine. I won’t share. I won’t give it up. If I miss a day, it is not the end of the world. I do however feel the difference. I will say it is not always easy. It took a good six months of literally scheduling it, to achieve it , let alone get it to a regular basis. Just when I had it down. School was letting out. This year I am hoping to fall back into the routine much faster. I refuse to feel selfish doing this. I refuse to feel guilty. I know what I need and I am going to hold on to it like a two year old holds on to their toys!