Recovering

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Since we got back from vacation, I have been struggling. I don’t want to get up in the morning. I have let myself fall out of my medication routine. Basically I have been doing the bare minimum. It has been driving me nuts. I did get my cleaning job done on Monday but unlike normal, It completely tapped all my energy. It’s been a week since we got back. I feel like I should be back with the program. I don’t have much time to get back in gear as school starts Monday. 

It’s just a reminder that Fibromyalgia and Arthritis are willing to be appeased for only so long. Even with all the planning I did, I should have still expected a flare this bad. One that would last as long as this one has been lasting. It did not help matters that I ran out of my heart medications and missed a dose. While my humor was still there, yup I still have SVT!. It was exhausting and so soon after the extra exertion during vacation.

Even knowing all this, It doesn’t take away the guilt. I feel I should still be doing so much more with my daughter. Savoring these last few days. Truth is, when I really think about it. She needs rest too. My guilt is not well founded so I need to let it go. 

So I am taking the time to remind myself that I need to rest. That if I really wrote out a list of everything I have done each day since we got back, it would astound me. It is not just the physical things I have done either. There is also social and emotional accomplishments being achieved daily.  I have realized this to an extent. I haven’t spent all day doing absolutely nothing. Being a mother is hard work too. I think sometimes we forget just how hard it is. It is rewarding, but it is hard too. It comes with physical , social and emotional demands. 

It all really hit me when I realized tonight is Open house at school and its at six pm. Anything after five pm is normally a big no. I know my limits have been reached by then. Its one of my worst time frames, five pm to bedtime. I realized If I had not stopped cleaning to check my email. I would have worked myself to my limit and would not have been able to go to Open House. I had thought it was tomorrow. 

Pacing and hydrating and being gentle with myself is the list for the rest of the day.

 

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4 responses »

  1. Ugh, I’ve felt the same way this week. I’m just dragging from one task to the next, if I’m even off the couch. But, like you pointed out, I *am* still being a mom, and that IS hard work. Hang in there.

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  2. We were dragging for a few days, too. It was hard to get motivated. But I can only imagine what it must’ve felt like for you. So sorry. Hope you’re feeling better soon.

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  3. The length of recovery time needed after vacations and events like that always catches me by surprise, no matter how many times I go through it. You’re doing great though to remind yourself how hard the work of being a parent really is. It’s something I frequently discount when reflecting on what I have (and mostly haven’t) done but I’m trying to be better about it and this post is a great reminder. I hope the open house went well. Visits to the school always wipe me out.

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