Today was my due date. August 11th 2005. By that time though I had already been a new mom for eleven days. I knew early in the second trimester I was not going to make it to that date. By the beginning of the third trimester induction was scheduled for August 1st.
It still amazes me that even nine years later how I can pick her out. We went to Epcot and Fort Wilderness for her birthday. I momentarily would loose eye contact with her at the pool. I marveled at my ability to ” nope thats not her,scan scan. there she is” All I had seen was a foot kicking. I knew that foot. I knew every detail of that foot. Even from the lounge chair twenty feet from the pool, I knew that foot. She would come up and snuggle and my hand on the back of her head. I still felt that newborn head. Every ridge and bump and divet.. I knew that head. If I closed my eyes holding that nine year old head I can still smell that baby smell. Her skin while not quite as dewy soft still feels the same. It still has the same glow.
I used to hear others say these kinds of things and I thought ” how do they just know”? There really isn’t an answer to that other than, you just do.
I have written about her birth, I have done a year in review, so this year I wasn’t going to do any kind of blog post about her turning nine.
Then I walked out of my bedroom to see on the freezer the little white board we use to leave messages. I AM NINE YEARS OLD.
Yes. Yes you are. To her this is THE greatest thing ever! For the last year she has counted down to being nine. People would ask her how old she was. Eight and one fourth, Eight and half, Eight and three quarters. At one point her and Daddy even tried to figure it out when she was down to two weeks away.
So it seemed wrong to not do some kind of reflection post…… then I went to the pictures. I seriously have easily three thousand pictures per year. She is nine years old. IT was not a small job. Even still I still don’t feel I took enough pictures. I still see gaps in my picture taking. It was almost like I had realized I hadn’t taken pictures for a few weeks and suddenly there was a few hundred. It is also all very unorganized. A task that I would like done but, not going to happen any time soon.
I tried to find pictures that really bring through her personality as it developed. I am rather pleased with it. Even if I can’t find pictures of her fifth birthday. They are around some where. Also I think I only printed out her first birthday pictures. It is also entirely possible they are on some other disk, or sd card I never uploaded. The elmo cake is her second birthday.
I am still not ready for her to be nine.