Its been… um.. let me think… Seven years? I think. It all runs together. I no longer remember not being chronically sick or dealing with Chronic pain.
Once upon a time I was taking prescription level strength pain medications. Now I get over the counter pain relief medications.
Now I laugh when I see them call them pain relief.
Oh honey aren’t you cute. Its more of a pain dampener. Its like after the mind numbing silence someone turns on static and you think well this is nice. But then it fades and the static gets quieter and we are back. Sometimes it doesn’t even do that.
I know I have an amazing ability to push it aside most of the time. For me, most of the time it is mind over matter. Meditation has gone a long long long way to help me here. If I am in motion I am less likely to notice it. It is so much easier for me to stay in motion once I start. To just go from one thing to the next.If I let myself rest , I feel it. I don’t want to start again. This is part of the reason mornings are so difficult. Its that initial get in motion activity that is so hard to do.
I have too many sensory issues to use much in the way of creams or gels during the day. As hard as it is to believe the sensation that the cream or gel creates is more distracting to me than the actual pain. Same with pain patches and what not. Sure I could go through the hoops and motions and get back on Lortab or something similar. The question remains though, at what cost? They were making my health deteriorate faster and with a family history of drug dependence and abuse, I am more comfortable not being on them.
In the end this means I spend a lot of time at the end of the day getting out of pain. I take Tumeric and ginger during the day for the pain and it does help. At night I often flop between aspirin and Tylenol, ice packs, epsom salt baths and sometimes even massage.
Everyone has to do what is right for them when it comes to pain management. For awhile , for me, it was prescription medications. For now , for me, this is how I manage. It will change again. I know it will. That is one thing this journey has taught me. Pain management is all about change because our body has this wonderful way of adapting to pain. We become tolerant of the level of pain. We become tolerant to the type of pain relief we are using. Had anyone told me that I would tolerate a pain level of five as my normal pain level on any given day when I first started. I would have laughed until I cried. Had they told anyone that when I rate my pain a three I consider it a really really good day. …… The pain can only be pushed aside so much before it demands to be felt. I probably would have told them to keep the drugs coming, I don’t want to feel that.