It occurred to me today that I have been unreasonably hard on myself. I have been wondering why things I used to be able to do are such a struggle lately. It was only in discussion over some of this with a friend that I realized the difference was medication. I am not on prednisone, soma and Lortab. That I have taken steps that means I can do less but will live longer, and healthier.
When I went off the medications it was not by choice. I was sure I was going to be back right on them as soon as I found a doctor that would listen. Between the weight gain and how sedentary my life had become, I knew I needed to make changes. I just didn’t want to think about it too closely.I dealt with it slowly and piece by piece.
Sometimes just realizing that you are being unreasonably hard on yourself, that allows you to relax a little. I am going to try and focus more on what I have done each day than what I have not done. I am going to try and remember that being off those medications is a good thing and that it just makes self care even more important.
I have realized that I have depended on certain activities to relieve stress. The problem is they are not relieving stress. It took me a while to notice this. It is time to switch up some of my self care things. Summer is coming. Well really in Florida Summer never leaves but the kid is out of school in a week. There is going to be more variety. More embracing what and who we are. There is just going to be more.
I know I have said this in the past. I have done it in the past. Each time I am a step closer to where I want to be. I just have to remember that and not get frustrated that it feels like I am back where I started. I am not. I know that I am not when I really stop and look back. Its a process. Sometimes its the process that is frustrating. Sometimes just acknowledging that makes it a difference. Gives us a fresh perspective and renewed motivation.
Tomorrow I turn a year older. Here is to understanding the process and embracing it all, the good and the bad!