If I am truthful with myself my spiritual journey started to change when we went through infertility,the constant reference to Bible quotes and that I wasn’t praying enough or that I had some kind of sin I had not confessed. It lead to immense amounts of guilt.Still I tried, we went to church, I kept searching. Then shortly after finally having a successful pregnancy and albeit rough but successful birth ,I got sick. I started not going to church,to often I ended up leaving with feelings of guilt instead of comfort that I used to get. I started reading more on theology,the more I did the more I realized deep down this wasn’t really what I believed, it was what I had been told. What I had been told to believe. I had been trying to believe something I could not completely accept.
Its not that I don’t believe in a higher power….I do. When I got sick a lot of things that worked because I didn’t pay too close attention to them, fell apart. I started searching for what I did believe.
It was not until I finally went to a Unitarian Universalist church…their principles…this…the warm genuine welcome….this is what I had been searching for.
slowly I have grown and less and less find myself judging others on what they believe and more and more I was accepting people for who they were not what they believed or didn’t believe. I didn’t feel bad for continually searching for what is true. In fact it is encouraged with genuine enthusiasm.
It has been hard to loose people because I don’t believe exactly as they do. It has been hard to say to each their own. I am comfortable with my path. That is all that matters. That is what I focus on.