When mornings go wrong…..


Okay thats basically every morning when you have Fibromyalgia as one of the symptoms of Fibromyalgia is non-restorative sleep. The whole non-restorative sleep thing mixed with insomnia with frequent waking. Mornings are hell. At least until the meds kick in and the second cup of coffee is swallowed down.

The night before the kid wanted to sleep in our bed. Fine. Whatever as long as it was bedtime I was good with it. Plus it had been a while since she asked and I got to snuggle with her.

I did my typical awake every two hours up for thirty minutes or so before falling back to sleep. I knew it was after 4am as that was the last time I woke up. This time  I woke up because I felt something wet. It is the greatest way ever to wake up. When you know for a fact it wasn’t you who peed the bed. I moved over. I peeked at the alarm clock. 545am. Swell. Husband gets up and gets ready for work.Peek at clock. 615am  the Kid gets up and went to take a shower. I maybe got another twenty minutes of sleep before she was back.

“Mommy I am cold.”

” Go put clothes on.”

“But then I have to move the towel. Its keeping me warm.”

“I thought you said you were cold. Go put clothes on for school. Remember its going to be chilly out. So PANTS.” this was said to her retreating form.

Do I really have to get up? Grab my pills and take a swig from the water bottle that is always on my bed stand. I am just laying there, waiting  to feel something other than sore muscles and joints that are angry with me.  To have some kind of motivation to actually get up out of bed. Because really I am pretty sure roadkill that has been hit over twenty times feels better than I do right now.

The kid comes back in and asks me to help button her shirt.

Seriously? She is eight can’t she do this yet. Its like an ungodly hour. This should be illegal.

By seven am I am awake. I might not be happy about it. But there it is. Fact of life. I send a text two friends…. “I quit” One says back. “Amen” The other says ” Me too”

This means we can go back to sleep right?

Stumble out of bed to the coffee pot. No coffee.Seriously? (I know I am spoiled here, that hubby makes it most mornings)

I took a few minutes to just smell the coffee beans. I may have held the coffee grinder up so that my nose could smell them grinding.

I went to the dryer and pulled the pair of jeans I had set to dry at four am when I was up out(sometimes I try to make my thirty minutes awake productive. sometimes it exhaust me enough that I don’t stay up the whole thirty minutes. Of course that’s an approximate time, I don’t really count each time.)  Get dressed myself.

Found the kid a jacket. It really was hiding. It was right on top of the basket of clothes on the chair. Really hard to find.

As I hand her the jacket she just causally mentions….”I peed my bed the night before too. That’s why I wanted to sleep in your bed.”

She walks off as my jaw hits the floor and I just have no thoughts. Nothing. Actually no, give me a brick wall and I will bang my head over and over and over and over.

Then there is the most sweetest sound ever. The ding that signals the coffee is done. Its only been forever and a day since I grinded those beans.

Seven fifteen. First cup of coffee . FINALLY. Let the sanity flow back into me.

Get on the computer and do some stuff.Return emails and publish and post the blog post for the day.

Seven forty five we are stripping the beds and doing laundry. Next up is  feeding the dogs and corralling the cats in the bedroom for the day. The kid now wants a cheese stick and an apple. Fine whatever.

Second cup of coffee.  Send the kid out to the car. She needs a head start. You know all that molasses that you have to go through from the front door to the car door.

Out the door at 820.

And I wonder why by 845am I am ready for a nap.  Thankfully this is not every morning.


2 responses »

  1. I just want to say ‘Thank You!’ for sharing. You make my life with FM a little easier by knowing that these things aren’t ‘just me’. Gentle hugs sent your way along with prayers for a manageable day.


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