You assume I must be feeling fine.
I am laughing. I must be fine.
I was up and about and went walking. I must not be in pain.
I did housework. I must have energy.
You assume because I do those things I must be okay. It must not be too bad. It is not as severe as I make it out to be.
You assume too much.
I am laying in bed or sitting in bed on my laptop with the tv on. I am obviously being lazy.
I get up and do things when I absolutely have to. I am obviously not in too much pain.
Outward appearances are very deceiving in someone who has struggled for years with chronic pain.
Some days I can do a lot. Some days I can do a little.
Don’t assume because I did a lot yesterday that I can do a lot today too.
Don’t assume because I did a lot three days in a row that I can do it again.
You were not in my body. You were not in my brain. You did not give everything you had and then some to be active with your child, keep the house clean and still replenish yourself as well.
You did not see me take medications. I don’t broadcast it much anymore. I don’t say ” I am going to take my pills now watch me!”. If you see me taking my medications its because I trust you. Don’t abuse that trust. It is hard earned.
Don’t assume I am okay taking these medications all the time. Most of the time its the lesser of two evils type of thing. Its not something I like. Don’t assume because I am taking a prescription that I haven’t tried/believe in homeopathic remedies. I have been at this awhile. I know what I can and can’t use. What will and won’t work. Don’t assume that because I am not suddenly trying what you suggested that I blew it off. I do care that it was suggested. Don’t assume I took it the wrong way. I do a lot of research before I take anything new. Script or homeopathic. Cream or pill.
Don’t assume I am being lazy. I am resting. I am storing energy. Energy is very hard to find sometimes for me. There are still a few things that will make me jump up and into action. Despite what my pain says. Despite what my body says. Despite what my energy level is at.
I am a mom first. Over everything else. This little person is dependent on adults to meet her needs. Her needs come above mine. ALWAYS. No matter what the pain says.
Unless you are inside my body and brain don’t assume its been a good day because I am out of bed. Sometimes being out of bed is less of a pain then being in bed.
My animals are my family as well. They have equal spots in my heart. They are a bit more independent though and so as long as they have food and water ….I will get to the rest eventually. They actually are more understanding than most people. Maybe because they don’t assume anything. Maybe because they see I accept them for who they are , good behavior and bad. Don’t assume I will give them up because you think they are the cause of some of my pain. I know they are not.
Don’t assume I don’t have depression because I am out and about. Depression is different for everybody. Same with Anxiety. It is personal. It does not conform to what you think it should look like. Sometimes I am laughing and happy on the outside but inside there is worry and sadness. Sometimes I do a good job at hiding it. Don’t assume its not there.
I did a post like this before. (find it here,https://chronicallysickmanicmother.wordpress.com/2013/05/14/what-you-cant-see/ ) but I felt the need to be a bit more direct.