Today at church we heard from a Buddhist monk. I was avidly listening and was surprised at how much what he described ,described how I viewed the world.
I have been diagnosed with A.D.D since I was five. Sure it made learning harder. It made homework take hours longer than necessary. I however have never seen it as a curses. I know others do. Oh sure I can see what they are saying. The way you want things and the way you actually get it accomplished tend to be two different things. Things take longer because you keep getting distracted by little things. Thinking about doing things and completely forgetting by the time you can actually do them. It goes on and on and on.
I have just always thought, well I am rarely bored. Probably should clarify that, I am not bored for long. A bit more now that I can’t quite keep up with my mind physically anymore. It is also something that mom’s deal with a lot. The distractions. In the middle of doing dishes the kid comes up can you get this for me? Normal people can go get the object and come back to dishes. My A.D.D. mind says “um what were we doing? Oh look the floor needs swept.” A lot of tasks are started and finished often days later. If they are even finished by me.
But being in the moment. Enjoying each moment. Knowing myself in each moment. That I excel at. It was nice to hear that I am on the right path for my spirituality.
I never really thought that Buddhist principles and beliefs could help me find peace and solace with my A.D.D. To say hey that’s something that I do and am really good at. To also find some of my thoughts about meditation were unrealistic not only because of A.D.D but they also did not hold water with the Buddhist idea of meditation. I notice details I notice the small changes. I get that part. I feel renewed in my desire to meditate more often. I followed his discussion with our minister probably better than most sermons or presentations. Not only because I was interested but that I could really relate to what he was saying. I was also noticing how cool it was my daughter was getting unbiased information about Buddhism as a religion. Learning about what it is where it comes from. I also found myself fascinated that he was not wearing shoes but socks with grips. Then off thinking about how great it feels to not wear shoes. Then cuing back into what they were discussing. Then back to looking over the people listening and the little chuckles and noises they made. The way the wind blew the water from the water fountain out the window. I cue back in to hear that in this moment you are different from when you walked in the door sixty minutes ago. Things do not stay the same moment to moment. How true, and as someone who has A.D.D I can relate to this because I notice it all the time.
A.D.D is not just a curse. It’s also a blessing and allows for one to enjoy every moment of every day. To notice that things are changing and to be cued into that by the small little changes that happen daily. To still marvel at how fast things change. A.D.D often has my eyes wide open. Maybe the frustrations are worth it if in return this is what I get. I think it is.