The torment between brain and body


I have been taking back my body from Fibromyalgia and Arthritis by low impact walking.

I have been slowly and steadily increasing my walking, I increased to daily and even have gotten up to a mile easily.

Yesterday a friend and I took off a bit more than we could chew. Walking is easier when you walk with a friend.

However when the information turned out to be incorrect and the walk we took was twice as long as expected…….

Yesterday after we finished there was not a part of my body didn’t hurt and as the day wore on it got worse and worse.

Today I think the only thing that doesn’t hurt is my ear lobes….maybe my eyelashes..

So why why why as I am driving I notice the way the foggy humid weather looks on the trees to the nearest nature trail? Why am I wondering if I could stop and get a small tiny walk in. Just tiny. Just to take some pictures. Especially on that back part of the trail.  The fogginess I bet would look sooooooo awesome.

“Don’t do it, don’t do it, don’t do it, don’t do it.”

There was not even an once of stubbornness to even attempt a walk.

Just driving to get my can’t live without heart pills was challenging. I was functioning but only just.

Then i had to wait for the script because when they called it in, they were a bit confusing so the pharmacist had to clarify.  Take one pill a day at 1130am and 730pm. Um What?

So. Starbucks is in Target. I got a lemon pound cake slice…Free tall coffee came with it. PERFECTION.

Get the pills. Took one right there in front of the pharmacist.

Trudge back out to the car.

Well I am up and about. I might as well go to the other food pantry I can go to. Maybe they will have instant milk.

The temperatures are decent but it was warm enough I was sweating. There was a creepy dude there, smoking an E-Cig. I am pretty sure that was not nicotine. There were four screaming little boys running around. When they came close their screaming felt like someone threw a handful of knives at my muscles. I think I physically flinched several times.

The lady didn’t even ask she loaded the stuff in the shopping cart and took the handle and said where is your car. I think. ” oh great I look that bad.”

Sigh. Okay. Back in the car. Deep breaths.  The dollar store is on the way home. We can get milk and cat food and everyone will be happy everywhere!

I am pretty sure that small bag of cat food and that quart of milk weighed as much as an elephant.

I came home and laid down. I couldn’t do anymore. Took some medications. Eventually got back up to get something to eat.

Even still my brain says..”walk to pick up the kid from school. it will be good to move your muscles, come on you get to walk right by those baby goats.” My body is readily answering with flipping the bird and long lines of swear words.

I am going to go with my body on this one.

When I am out forcing myself to somehow function I have little to any brain function to think of anything other than what needs to be done right that second.

However laying in bed , my muscles and joints are slightly happier than when we were functioning, my mind starts thinking of all these other things we could be doing. All the things that need to be done around the house. I almost listened to that stupid brain of mine that was telling me all the things we could be doing, and don’t forget the cute goats.

Then I discovered I got my monthly visitor on top of that.  OH HELL NO. We are not doing anything that is not absolutely necessary. We will pick up the kid, my body and brain and I, but we will not do anything extra.

Dinner , Sandwiches sounds good.

So does a hot toddy and an early bedtime.


Wanna know more about NaBloPoMo?



Talk to me! Tell me your thoughts!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s