My daughter has been asking for her ears to be pierced. I had mine done when I was nine and I really didn’t have a good experience and within a few years I was over it and let the holes close up.
We kept putting it off. Finally we agreed for her birthday she could get them pierced. We visited the place several times so she could get an idea of what was going to happen and how serious it was to take good care of the earrings and the holes and what not.
We brought both pooh bears for extra support. Daddy told her he would be glad to do that for her. All he needed was a wood block and a nail. BANG! Done! We did discuss that even if it hurt for the first one she would have to get the second one done if they could not do both ears at once. We discussed how she had to be responsible in cleaning her ears and keeping her earrings safe once she was able to get more.
When we got there they were just about to pierce another girls ears. She was also eight! BONUS! She didn’t cry! She even had them do her ears one at a time.
Then it was our turn. We decided to go for both at once.
We even picked out the blue stars that were part of the Make-a-wish foundation. It was a nice little extra.
As we were leaving Daddy said. ” I didn’t think it was possible for you to be any more beautiful but look at you now!”
On the way home while we were still in the car we had a very inspiring conversation.
She said “Now when I look at myself in the mirror I will say I am beautiful”
No no no this will never do.
So we explained that earrings and makeup and jewelry are not things that make people beautiful. Beauty is not something you can see.
Then She said: ” Right Beautiful is on the inside and its the whole person.”
Okay Phew I was so glad to hear her say that. I know she has to go through this phase. I know she is trying to put it all in its place.
It would be nice if we could protect our daughters from this constantly trying to be beautiful to others. It would be nice if everyone could just see Beautiful as the whole person all the time.
Self-image and self-esteem are so hard to nurture and protect. They are so very important to the overall image our children have of themselves. Let’s admit the world is not all that nice about these things. I hope eventually the world will come to its sense. All we can do until then is make sure their self-image and self-esteem are so filled up and overflowing the world can’t make it’s mark on them.
We can explain to them how to maintain physical beauty ,the proper care of earring holes and washing their face ect, it is up to them to figure out the metaphysical part. Giving our guidance when we can. We can tell them they are beautiful but it is up to them to believe it.