We can’t see it happen…….but it does.

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Where does the time go?

 How does it happen that one day we are bringing these precious little bundles of joy home from the hospital all pink and new and shiny, and the next thing we know they are sassy l eight year old with an attitude?

I look back at the pictures  I have taken, sometimes spending hours staring at them. That just happened yesterday!

Why does the date show it happened two years ago? How can that be?

No matter how many pictures we take we can’t capture the tiny little changes, the loss of baby fat that seems to happen over night but doesn’t really.

Recently I have been reading and embracing Buddhism. It speaks to me on a level that not much else has spoken to me.  I have always thought myself a very spiritual person.  The thing that keeps ringing out to me is to be in the moment. To not worry about the past, its behind us and can’t be changed. To not worry about the future, it has yet to take shape. To be fully in the moment. The more I practice this to more content I feel.  Mistakes were made, yes, learn from them and go on. It has helped me shed so many harmful thoughts and things. I wouldn’t say its gone, its just muted so its not the loudest voice. One day it will be gone. It will just float away because I give it no more attention.

It also say to let go. Don’t hold on to things. Yeah….mmm…about that. I have always been one to hold on. I don’t want change. I am comfortable with the way things are. However later I can normally see the value in what has been added by that change.  I am more like the person who denies the fact that there is a change coming, panic when its almost here, then adjust and carry on. I would love to just get to that last part of just carrying on.

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Mindfulness is the aware, balanced acceptance of the present experience.

It isn’t more complicated than that.

It is opening to, or receiving the present moment, Pleasant or unpleasant, just as it is, without either clinging to it or rejecting it.

Sylvia Boorstein

That is just it. It is change….not good or bad just change. I keep trying to remember that when new things happen. A new diagnosis, a new parenting issue. The more time I spend IN THE MOMENT

the easier theses changes are and the easier it is to accept.

It is not good or bad that I am parenting in pain. It just is.

It seems like just yesterday I was going through the diagnosis process…..now its what six years later?

If someone would have told me where I would be six years after diagnosis I would not have believed them.

While it seems like it last forever the actual acceptance of change is accomplished  a tiny bit each day.

You can’t see the acceptance….it just happens.

I should say it just happens if you continue to grow as a person. You can’t give up.

I won’t say there haven’t been times that  I gave up. The thing is once you realize, you pick up again.

Sometimes the first step in not giving up is getting out of bed that day.  The small things add up.

The more I stay in the moment the more I understand that the small things add up.

I might not be ready to just skip to the carrying on part but with each day spent in the moment I get a little closer.

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