Pushing the limits

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After six years with Fibromyalgia and Degenerative Disc Disease, I know my limits. I know I functioned in the working world for as long as I did because of the medications I was on.  It took another adjustment to get used to different medications.  I know my limits of what I can and can’t do. That doesn’t mean I am not going to push those limits. I am not about to let those limits define me as a person, as a wife, as a mother.

It requires more planning but I can still push myself way over my limits and down the other side.  There are just times that its worth it to me to do this. Yesterday was one of those times.

I have a fantabulous friend that often doesn’t let me be stubborn. However I won on this day to clean up the back porch and decorate. Yeah that stubborn streak I have is always getting in the way. I cleaned porch chairs swept the porch got up and down on a step stool to hang decorations. Scrubbed tables and even took four kids to the store to get the cake and some last minute things.

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Seriously Mountain Dew and full strength aspirin kept me going through the day. The party was to start at two. We were literally at Publix getting the cake at one fifteen. I pulled into the Publix parking lot and before turning the car off got all four of their attention.

“I am so very serious. If I have to say something more than once to any of you…..NO CAKE. I will do this!” I looked in the rear view mirror to see four very serious  faces and head nodding going on.

No I probably would not have enforced that. It was a way to cut through their excitement and get through to them.  It was a very successful trip we got what we needed and got out of there. No Shenanigans. No Lollygaging…

I am literally only still moving by pure adrenalin for the party and the newly purchased bottle of Mountain Dew. Cracked that baby open the second we were in the van.  There was also the draw of sugar when it was cake time as well.

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The only activity we had planned was releasing playing and catching ladybugs.  I need very low key activities if I am to survive the party. 3000 ladybugs plus eight to nine children.  To say the least they were entertained.

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The Ladybugs had been delivered two days before. We learned a lot about ladybugs, we learned they hibernate in cold. The refrigerator would make them go to sleep and it took only seconds for them to start moving around again. They were still sleepy enough each child was able to get a good handful of them in their net.

It was something that kept everyone’ attention. Even the adults.

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A good birthday party indeed. It was in fact pretty low key and I was able to sit and relax and talk with other adults! Gasp!

Of course I also got to snuggle my baby, Princess P! (A friend of mine’s baby who I was honored to be a witness at her birth.)

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By the time people started leaving I was feeling the days events. It would be nice if  it waited til I was home and in bed.  I had already started medicating to try to head off some of it. Pretty much by seven pm I was no good to anyone. I couldn’t distract myself anymore.

In the end though parents push themselves to their limits with their kids, for their kids. It is just what we do. It will take my liver a few days to recover from medicating more than I normally do. It will probably take at least another week of aches and pains higher than normal before it evens out again.

Will it be a birthday that she will remember? Absolutely!  Would I do it over again? YUP…and will next year too. Really I will do it whenever it is necessary.

When I woke up this morning, at a decent hour, not the multiple times I was awake in the middle of the night. Everything hurt.  All my muscles felt like they had been used as trampolines and when I say all, I mean ALL. It hurt to sit up it hurt to stand up it hurt to walk. Medications helped somewhat. I was comfortable as long as I wasn’t moving.  Today was a service I didn’t want to miss and I had not even warned the kid that we might not go to church. So off to church we went. By the time we were done I was having visible muscle shakes and intense Nausea.

The rest of the day has to be resting and very low key, continue taking muscle relaxers and alternating advil, tylenol and aspirin. Oh and yes lots and lots of water. Not only for hydration but to help flush lactic acid and toxins from the junk food from the previous day. Today has been mostly about resting and recovering and even letting the kid have a looser leash on what she is and isn’t allowed to do today. Even working on this blog has had to be in increments as I could only do so much typing before it was too much.

I will admit I have chronic illnesses. I will admit I have limits. I will never stop pushing those limits.  Especially when it concerns my family.

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3 responses »

  1. I struggle with pacing myself, always. There is a stubborn part of me that doesn’t want to allow Fibro or the DDD to define what I can and can’t do. Pacing myself is a constant challenge.

    Lately, though, everything’s been flaring at once. I have an overwhelming desire to quit work altogether; but my husband will be unemployed after this week, so I keep pushing. I am wondering when it will be my turn to stop.

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    • I agree. Its hard to give into that. I didn’t think I would like being a stay at home mom. I know my pre fibro and DDD self would not have thrived. I am not really good at pacing, I do try but there are days I know that pacing is just not an option. I will say not working has made some of the flares shorter but not all of them. It also has taken away some of the routine my body had become dependant on. But seriously it took me over a year to adjust and at least another six months after that to get close to acceptance.

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