Pink or Blue , Boy or Girl.

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So today I have been fighting off a headache. Hoping that medications and rest will keep it from a migraine. I was going through some of the blogs I follow to catch up. Then I found this.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/katie-vyktoriah/what-happened-when-my-son-wore-a-pink-headband-to-walmart_b_3696113.html

I can’t even begin to explain the outrage I felt. This has always been a big deal to me. I was so fired up and writing furiously that I forgot to pick up a friends kid!!!! Then when I got back wordpress had an issue and it didn’t save what I had just spent an hour and half hammering out. Aside from annoyance I was okay with that. This is a subject I don’t run out of words for. The outrage is already there.

My education is in Early Childhood Education. I taught at preschools for six years before I had my daughter and then another seven months after she was born. I taught all ages but my niche was 18 months to two years old. So many times a father would come in and see his son in a dress. There would be a scene.  What I saw as a teacher was a child trying to find out how he fit in this world. What I saw as a mother was a child exploring and being cute. I often refused to let the father hail down on the kid. This is normal , this is expected. He needs to find out what being a boy means to him. He is trying to relate to the world. Don’t hinder this. Encourage this.

 

Why must we classify things as boy and girl?

Get it together people, a headband is not an indication of whether or not a child is gay or lesbian. Its not something that happens because you were headbands.

I whole heartedly stand behind everything she said. This is how bigotry is taught. Its okay to do this to “these kinds of people” attitude.  Its amazing to me that as far as we have come as a society, this is still going on.

I encourage my daughter to express herself in her clothing choices. There are days my OCD is flared because of her mix-matching and my hands itch to fix it.  I have been told I have an I rock you don’t attitude and it is definitely something I have passed on to my daughter.  Her response to comments about her outfits is : “Because I like it.”  “Because I feel pretty”  Isn’t this what we want from our children? She doesn’t have the complex I do about how she looks. We should be encouraging this. Not judging this.

I have friends that are on both sides. Gay and lesbian. You couldn’t tell to look at them. Most of the time they only wear the purple boa’s on special occasions. I love them for who they are. Not what they are wearing or what they like or don’t like. For their heart. Its on the inside where no one can see it.  You have to talk to them and get to know them.

There is a huge phobia about Gay and Lesbians and its got to stop. When someone feels they have the right to do this to a two year old isn’t it time to change things?

I believe in teaching my daughter to not only express herself and stand up for herself but to also love  people for who they are. Tolerance is not a hard concept for kids. They don’t demand there friends see there point of view. They may have trouble sharing but they openly accept other kids for who they are. You have red hair? that’s cool. You have two mommies? That must be awesome. You have freckles? I have always loved freckles!  They get it that they don’t have to be the same or even think the same.

This is what we need nurture in this generation of kids we are raising. They learn by example so if you are acting even mildly to how this man reacted. A slur slips here and there. A comment here and there.  Kids pick it up. They catch on even when you try to hide it.  I have tried many times and failed.  It doesn’t mean we have to be perfect.  It is an opportunity to engage our children in meaningful conversations.

We came across this in a slightly different situation. An area I never thought to address or talk about until my daughter asked.  “Why does so and so not have any children? Why aren’t they a mommy?” It led to a great conversation between us. She was still struggling with it and she was direct but still pretty polite when she asked this person. Then the two of them had a great conversation.

We are not perfect as parents. Our children are not perfect.  We love them for who they are. So what if they are gay or lesbian. Its not going to change the way we love our children. Or…It shouldn’t. The sad fact is that it does happen.  I can’t wrap my mind around how a parent would feel that way.

More discussions are needed.  Let this article be the thing that prompts you to talk about different kinds of families. Different kinds of people.Let this be something that causes you to stop and think. Is this something that I need to address with my child?

 

 

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