Some mornings you just know…..From seconds after waking up….it’s going to be one of those days.
The universe is going to test your every nerve and typically it’s going to happen in the first five minutes of being awake for the day.
The least it could do is let me have my coffee first……maybe even just a sip of coffee? Please?
So this morning I woke up…..at six thirty seven. The kid actually slept in a bit. Her normal wake up time is like five forty five…I am not sure who’s dna that is but I can tell you, it’s not mine.
I fling my hand out towards the husbands side and pat him. Umphf….Go get my pills. and some water….Sigh. Then he is suddenly poking me..here take them before I collapse back in bed.
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP…,,,,WHAT…WAH…Oh…crap…seven am. Okay. okay. Im up Im up. Smack hubby again. Coffee. I need coffee.
I swear it was two seconds I closed my eyes…there he is again with my coffee.
He truly is the best!
Okay slurp slurp slurp. We are now approaching from steamrolled zombie to subhuman.
Every muscle hurts, Every joint is screaming. I really don’t want to move. My Tmj is flared because apparently I have been gritting my teeth most of the night….We have tried guards. I am super talented at removing it, while sound asleep. I think when I had the fourth bruise from sleeping on it I gave it up.
Whats today. Oh…oh no…Oh crap….I can’t feel like this today. ….not today. Today is back to back performances at school and a lot of walking around.
Walking requires moving. I really don’t want to move….not even a tiny little bit.
Okay chin up buttercup…peruse Facebook a bit ….slurp down a bit more coffee….Sigh. Okay…time to get up.
Clothes..I probably should not wear the nightgown to the performances….probably. Oh look….my jeans? yeah they are still in the washer. This is what happens when I try to get it all done in one day…..I always tell myself I will start with my clothes. They are almost always last. Okay so slacks.Slacks will have to do.
Somehow we make it to school on time. Barely. So now I can stroll over to the office and get my name tag. Drinking the last of my coffee on the way naturally.
There was a nice pause of time to talk with other parents.
Holding up my phone to take pictures was making my arms scream bloody murder but I was getting pictures dammit. Fibromyalgia wasn’t going to rob me of taking pictures of my baby!
Okay Race the kid to the bathroom…..change her clothes….back out for her class performance. I was probably out of my chair five minutes but my body was so thankful we were sitting again.
Truthfully after her class performed for the most part I hung out in the back. Helping a friend with her baby which also gave me the opportunity to stand and sit as needed.
Mainly I try to focus on whats going on. Not what my body is saying to me. Screaming at me. Beating out in rhythm to me. This is where denial actually can be helpful. I can’t hear you….lala la la la la la.
Walk walk walk walk back over to her classroom. Tour her room, tour her friends room, tour another room. Snacks! Yes! Sugar! PLEASE! I also totally snarfed down some blackberries and apples and some good cheese and pita too. However the cupcake and rice crispie treat is really the main reason I was able to push through and get back home.
Walk in the house. Bee line to the medicine bucket.
I survived.. I was there for her. That was what mattered. Thats what she will remember. She might later look back and realize I was in pain. Probably not til she is an adult. However I think that will just make it mean even more to her. I try to keep this in my mind, Not the denial from SSDI, not the negativity of others, just remember we are making memories. Memories that we hope later they will cherish. So I should probably spend the rest of the day in bed. That’s actually not too realistic today. However I will take at least two hours to just rest. Possibly I will recover a bit.
I did manage to drink almost a gallon of water already…Good stuff. So looking at the positives. Not the negatives. Now if only I could get my brain to shut up so I could actually rest!